Like so many things in life, my sexuality makes so much more sense in retrospect than it did when I was in the stages of “figuring it out”. I now know I have been bisexual all my life. I either just didn’t know it earlier on, or didn’t know what it entailed.
I want to talk about something that’s been on my mind for a while now. For many years now, it has been a staple rhetoric of the queer liberation that nobody ‘chooses’ to be gay: a backlash against those who call it a ‘lifestyle’, who try to push conversion therapy and deviant labels on us.
As my time at university comes to an end, I look back at moments that changed my education. From relative deprivation to conflict theory to homegrown vs lone wolf terrorism, the first year of university would hold lessons I’ll carry with me all my life as a politics enthusiast. But nothing could prepare me for the lessons of the summer of Roman*. This was my first brush with heartbreak and politics of the real world.
A couple of months ago I was scrolling through Instagram when I saw the same post come up again and again on people’s stories. Repeated posts are not unusual, but there was something about this one that deeply chimed with me.
I recently read that tourists in the US can take ‘sex trafficking bus tours’ to ‘shudder over locations where they’re told sexual violence has recently occurred’ (1). Learning this was not something I was able to take lightly. I carried the words around with me for days, alongside the absolute bafflement they gave rise to.
Without thinking, I turned from the main, busy street into a side alley. I was running late to see a friend, and Google Maps showed this route through dark, pot-holed Athens back streets to be the fastest way to get to my destination. I hurried along, frowning down at the map on my phone screen whilst music blared through my headphones. I don’t know when I became aware of his presence. But I remember feeling my stomach drop. You are not safe said my body to my mind.
“Pleasure is not something to be consumed. Pleasure is something to enfold into different aspects of our lives as much as possible.” – Ruby Rare
In an antiquitous world, where social distancing wasn’t yet the de facto theme of interaction, I used to get dressed up to go dancing with my friends. Being a young, privileged, educated woman, with a budding feminism and progressive view of the world, I acted in accordance with my own agenda. With that in mind, there was a hostile undertone. When looking in the mirror, measuring my drinks, dancing in the middle of the dancefloor, I would slowly orientate myself towards someone else’s objective.
When the skinny boy who fell in love with the dream he made of you in his mind – and you decided that was close enough – first said ‘tummy’ so sweetly as he touched your softness and rested his head against it, you felt a little more seen and a little less clouded in his foggy fantasy of you.
“Oh, you’re a virgin?” The question people always ask me when they found out I haven’t done the dirty. I didn’t lose my virginity at prom the way all the coming-of-age films said I would. While my friends in high school were getting it on at house parties, I was giving myself over to other things – yearbook, the school newspaper, honor society. There was nothing quite as hot as planning a fundraiser in my opinion.
Ethical, sustainable and magnificently feminist galentine’s gifts for the humans in your life that you want to shower with love…
To date as a straight woman is hell. To date as a straight woman during a pandemic is hell with a face mask on. Long before blossoming into an ascetic hermit, I was somewhat of a regular on the revolving doors of Tinder. Quarantine boredom kept me on the app and fear of the maskless masses kept me inside. So, I was left with little option but to date over Skype or Facetime – all I needed was a willing participant.
Sexual assault, despite now being spoken about more, is still seen as a taboo topic, particularly within the South Asian community. To talk about assault is to first realise the behaviours encouraging and condoning this act of violation, but the conversation often ends before it can even begin…
A beautiful and painfully honest account of navigating sex as a brown muslim woman and the culture that surrounds it…
Am I the only person that is bothering with dating while in lockdown? From the radio silence on social media and the responses I’ve been getting from my friends (‘What is the point?’ or ‘That’s weird’) it would seem most people aren’t too keen on the idea. Why bother when we can’t meet up with anyone? Why don’t we just wait until the end of lockdown?
I never really considered the environmental impact of my bedroom escapades. Even after being vegan for a year, I had no clue that condoms weren’t vegan, and I never really considered the environmental impact of the glittery silicone dildos I was ordering in abundance from LoveHoney…
Our co-founder Laila examines the sexual racism prevalent in the language that white men use to approach brown women…
In light of the COVID-19 pandemic, sex worker Lilia Lilith explores the history of how the public sphere has shaped attitudes towards the industry and touch…
Our co-founder Laila questions the potential long-term effects of corona on our relationships…
On the 25th of November, the world observed the UN’s International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. This was both a day that called for reflection and the commemoration of the victims and survivors of such violence, but also served as a call to action. The ocean of posts regarding this day that popped up on my social media, as well as the myriad of news articles touching on this topic made me think about survival and politics. Or, more specifically, I asked myself how survivors such as myself can be understood from a political standpoint…
A few weeks back we attended a panel on the sexualisation of black bodies held together by Edinburgh’s Sexpression and ACS. All panelists talked openly and frankly about their experiences,…
I remember going for a wee when I was around twelve, looking down at my vagina and being baffled by the sudden appearance of labia minora. I had literally no idea what they were…