I long for the life I built for myself
With bricks that came from a place within that I didn’t know was there
With confidence that had lain low for years
I plucked the plumbing from my chest and built friendships
And from there the foundations were steady and firm
We tiled the bathroom with our insecurities and painted over them
And hung lightbulbs in the dark parts of each other.
We aired our laundry in the open, and learned to love the creak of the crooked floorboards
We cemented the walls with shared experience and covered them with pictures of us
There’s no fight in the world a string of fairy lights won’t fix.
I long to return to the life we all built
Through women building up women
Through endless wine nights and conversations.
I went looking for an education
And with it found a lifetime’s worth of company