Dear Agony Aunt

Dear Agony Aunt 

Do I look good?
Tell me, I need to know. 
I wake up naked and I dress my face, 
It’s war paint for the workplace.
How to dress in a rush, with a brush, in the car
– Zoella got me this far. 

Am I too fat?
Tell me, I need to know, 
So that I can dress for my figure, 
And figure out what the fuck that means. 
Am I a peach or a pear?
You see, I only have magazines to compare 
and they don’t look like me. 

Am I too loud?
I’ve heard that’s not good.
Maybe I’ll buy one of those rings, 
So that I can match my mood
To the boys around me. 
It’s important to read the room, 
A woman should never assume 
She is safe. 

Am I too hard to define?
Have I crossed a line
That somebody else drew for me?

I’m tired of the conversation. 
How I look, how I am, is my business. 
Beauty’s in the eye of the corporation. 
And I don’t owe anyone anything. 

Robyn Barclay